I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize