Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
