You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
