wake up i wanna do it froggy style
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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