are you still at the devil's house?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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