Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
