drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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