I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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