I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
