the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
