U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
im on a boat
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