That's when you crack a 10am beer
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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