i need an iv and a liver transplant
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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