i permit you to call me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The Olympian is in my bed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
