I just gift wrapped bread.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
