How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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