i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
