I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
