you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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