Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
