I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
