We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we're so committed to being not committed
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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