I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
