So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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