...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
