I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize