kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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