Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
