North Korea, Best Korea!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
