It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
