Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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