belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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