actually, I'm a sock model
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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