I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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