i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
