sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
