Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
