last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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