four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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