the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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