Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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