I puked a lego.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize