You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
