ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
