dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
