i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
