I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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