if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
