I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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