My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You ate ashes out of my bong
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
