I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
