You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
