listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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