we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
