Dual....:-)
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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