You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no, he came in my armpit
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
