From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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