I want to have your abortion
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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