Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize