even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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