My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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