im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
