Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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