Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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