I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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