Life is so much better after having sex.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
