girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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