she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
