I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
