Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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