Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
