8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
